Self-regulation method of long-distance relationships: Don’t let loneliness swallow emotional enthusiasm

In a long-distance relationship, the “emotional gap” is an invisible killer – when you see a couple holding hands shopping, you can only chat on your mobile phone; when you are sick, you want someone to take care of you, but the other party can only say “drink more hot water”; When you are happy, you want to share the joy, but the other person cannot respond in time due to busyness. This gap of “not being around when needed” can easily lead to loneliness, grievances, and even questioning feelings. The key to self-regulation of the “emotional gap” is to “accept emotions, enrich oneself, and actively create ‘small happiness'” to reduce “emotional dependence” on the other party.

The first is to “accept the ‘sense of gap’ and not deny your emotions”. Feeling lost when seeing other couples interacting, feeling aggrieved when sick, these are normal emotions, there is no need to force yourself to be “strong” and “don’t be pretentious”. You can talk to a friend or write an emotional diary: “I saw my colleague being taken off work by my boyfriend today, and suddenly I missed you very much, if you were here, you would definitely bring me milk tea.” Accepting emotions is not about “indulging in negativity”, but about allowing yourself to “really feel” and avoid “sudden outbursts” caused by suppressed emotions.

The second is to “enrich ‘personal life’ and reduce ’emotional windows'”. shift your focus from “expecting the other person’s company” to “improving yourself”: develop new hobbies, such as learning yoga, painting, playing the guitar; expand your social circle, go hiking and watching exhibitions with friends on weekends; Focus on work or study, and strive for promotion and certification. When life is filled to the fullest, the “loneliness” will be greatly reduced. For example, when a girl was in a long-distance relationship, she learned flower arrangement and made floral works to give to her friends every week, and the sense of accomplishment in the process made her no longer worry about “whether her boyfriend replied to the message in time”, but would take the initiative to share the work with her boyfriend to let the other party feel her growth.

Finally, “take the initiative to create ‘small luck’ and make up for the gap”. For example, on the other party’s birthday, secretly order a bouquet of flowers to send to her company, with a handwritten card: “Although I can’t be by your side, I want everyone to know that you have me in love”; When you encounter something happy, record a funny video and send it to the other party, with the text: “When I see this moment, I want to share it with you as soon as possible, I hope you are happy too”; When you are sick, buy yourself a favorite dessert and tell yourself: “Even if no one takes care of me, I have to love myself well.” Taking the initiative to create “small luck” can make you feel “loved” in a long-distance relationship, whether it is from the other party or yourself, it can effectively alleviate the “emotional gap” and make the relationship more stable in “self-satisfaction”.