How to make the opening remarks say goodbye to the bluntness of “hello”

Many people are stuck in “I don’t know what to say” when they strike up a conversation, and can only use blunt opening lines such as “hello” and “can you get to know me”, which can easily make the other party on guard. In fact, by observing the details of the other party (such as belongings, behavior, accessories worn), designing opening lines can make the conversation more targeted, show your intentions, and greatly improve the response rate.

Observe “carrying items” to find an entry point, items are a direct reflection of the other person’s interests or needs. For example, if you see the other party holding a notebook with markers in your hand, you can say: “Hello, I see that the handwriting on your notebook is so neat, and you have made color markings, don’t you usually like to take notes?” I can’t always remember notes, can you ask for advice?” If the other party is carrying camping equipment, you can say, “Are you going camping?” I also want to try it recently, but I don’t know how to choose equipment, your set looks professional, is there a recommended entry-level model?” Questions around items are not abrupt, but can quickly find common topics, and the other party is more willing to share.

Observe the “behavioral state” to find a topic, such as seeing the other person repeatedly adjusting the brightness of the computer screen in a café, you can say, “Hello, is the light too dazzling here?” I’ve encountered it before, and later found that it would be much more comfortable to adjust the screen tone a little, you can try. Seeing the other party frowning at the mobile phone map in the park, you can say, “Are you looking for somewhere?” I’m quite familiar with this area, maybe I can help. Paying attention to the other person’s behavior and starting a conversation with “provide a little help” can make the other person feel your kindness and reduce their defense.

Observe “wearing accessories” to find resonance, for example, the necklace the other person is wearing is a niche designer brand, you can say: “Your necklace is so special, is it the work of XX designer?” I saw this series at the exhibition before, I really liked it but didn’t dare to buy it, where did you get it?” If the sweatshirt worn by the other party is printed with the pattern of a retro band, you can say, “Do you like this band too?” I just watched their online concert last week, and the lead singer’s voice is amazing, which song do you like the most?” Accurate detail observation can make the other party feel that “you paid attention to me”, which is easier to get a response than a general conversation.